Are You OK?

What is abuse?

Economic abuse: Refusing to give money for food, clothing or essential items; making you ask for money; forcing you to hand over money that you earn; not letting you have access to a checking account; not letting you be involved in making decisions about money.

Emotional abuse: Monitors what you're doing all the time; unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time; prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family; tries to stop you from going to work or school; gets angry in a way that is frightening to you; controls how you spend your money; humiliates you in front of others; threatens to hurt you or people you care about; threatens to harm themself when upset with you; says things like, "If I can't have you then no one can;" decides things for you that you should decide for yourself, like what to wear or eat.

Physical abuse: Pushing; hitting; choking; kicking; biting; cutting; burning; spitting; throwing things at you; locking you in or out of the house; endangering you by driving wildly or recklessly.

Psychological abuse: Ignoring feelings; criticizing beliefs; threatening to take or hurt your children; manipulating and lying; degrading women; name calling; making you feel inferior; isolating you from friends and family; threatening to leave or make you leave someone; threatening to hurt a loved one or family member; hurting your children or pets; hiding or re-locating personal items such as: cell phone, car keys, checkbook, money, important personal papers.

Sexual abuse: Treating you like a sex object; thinking that you will have sex with anyone; forcing you to have sex; calling you a "whore" or other derogatory names after sex; unwanted or uncomfortable touching; forcing you to have sex then telling you that "you wanted it;" bragging about sex with other people; searching for signs that you have had sex with someone else.

Verbal abuse:  Being called derogatory names by your partner; using words to embarrass you; yelling, swearing and screaming at you, using threats to intimidate you; blaming you; dismissing your feelings.

Who is affected by relationship violence? Although men can be survivors of relationship violence, women are typically the ones affected by it. Women of all religions, socio-economic backgrounds, educational backgrounds and of different ages and disabilities may experience relationship violence.

Keep Yourself Safe

  • Intuition: Follow the advice you would give to a loved one.
  • Tell someone of your concerns or situation.
  • Know your limits from a sexual, relationship and alcohol perspective.
  • Do not your leave your drink unattended!
  • Be alert! Be aware of  your surroundings at all times.
  • If you believe you are being abused, stalked or harassed...tell someone immediately.
  • Be selective about who you give your phone number to.
  • If you feel uncomfortable, get to a safe place, dial 911 (if off campus),  dial 11 from any campus phone or call Public Safety at 516.323.3500